
Former Manchester United quiet man Paul Scholes has decided he wants to make up for lost time and comment on absolutely everything, according to Paul Scholes. The ten time Premiership title winner told everybody he could possibly get round to that Carlos Tevez was actually quite a nice guy, and that you should stop being such a prick.
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Manchester City want away Carlos Tevez has refused to be suspended causing uproar around the football world. City boss Roberto Mancini told the former Manchester United star of his ban in a private meeting to which the Argentinian shook his head angrily before turning to punch Pablo Zabaleta. Tevez later released a press statement saying ‘I didn’t refuse to be suspended. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some training to do; big match Saturday.’
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Roberto Mancini has said the heated dialogue between he and Carlos Tevez last night will forever be between him and the striker. But using expert lip readers on whopping salaries we’ve uncovered what was actually said:
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Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini has claimed several of his top players approached him before yesterday’s game at Birmingham to guiltily tell their coach they’d left their football skills on the kitchen counter at home before they left. The Italian bemoaned the lack of creative talent on display last night in the 2-2 draw at St Andrews but new front man Edin Dzeko denied it had anything to do with his house warming party, involving Playboy bunny mud wrestling and drunken helicopter racing, the evening before.
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Manchester City star Carlos Tevez has decided to retract his transfer request after being shown a full scale diagram of what £30million pounds actually looks like. The Argentinean forward reportedly dropped to both knees, began kissing his snood and told City executives that ‘his family could wait another ten years or so’ adding ‘how important is it really to see a child growing up?…Lots of crying and whining really, when you think about it.’
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The Trading Standards Institute has clamped down heavily on Manchester City football club’s proposed move to offer star striker Carlos Tevez 100 Argentinean families a week to stay at Eastlands. Tevez has reportedly asked to leave the club citing family reasons as his explanation, with the striker missing his wife and children back home in Argentina. This led City owner Sheikh Mansour to make an audacious attempt to keep the former Manchester United forward and was even quoted as saying ‘have as many Argentinean families as you like! What do they need dogs? Cats? Hamsters?’
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