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Criticising a referee for being a prick is to replace the sport of football FA officials have confirmed. Saturday afternoons will now consist of following a referee around and disagreeing with absolutely everything that he’s doing.
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‘Chris Hoy is undoubtedly a k***head, didn’t you see him in that advert and stuff?’ was the message coming out of White Hart Lane last night after a case of mistaken identity led fans to pile abuse at the Olympic cyclist. Furious fans, angry at a referee Chris Foy’s ability to see the right decision took to the web only to make completely the wrong decision and call Hoy a total b***end.
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If someone can explain the sense of this to me, I’d be much obliged. Is football slowly eating itself?
(Sent by Paddy Stoate via our Facebook page)
Drunken village idiots have stepped forward to fill the void left by strike action announced yesterday by Scottish football referees. The men in the middle voted unanimously to have a weekend off getting called a f***ing w***** whilst being spat at by Neil Lennon, leaving SPL fixtures without an authority figure to run Saturday’s clashes. A group of drunks have stumbled into each other and decided that blowing a whistle is rather fun, as it makes ‘a wee great noise ey? HICCUP!’
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Football magician Stuart Attwell has promised to further upstage both his world famous ghost goal magic trick and his even more amazing Dirk Kuyt goal phenomenon by awarding a goal before anyone has even touched the ball. Attwell said fans would be mystified and amazed when he blew the whistle for kick off only to instantly award a goal to the home team.
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Let’s get serious – Time for some common sense
I try very hard not to pinpoint referees when finding reason for defeat; after all, I don’t want to become Arsene Wenger. I’m also one of those irritating people who attempt to stick up for the odd missed penalty decision here and there because it’s become virtually impossible for one man to spot every action of 22 professionals who are being trained to con, exploit and gain advantage. That said, what I simply can not defend is the absolutely preposterous rulebook they follow and the sheer fact that they are willing to go along with it. It is time for this nonsense to stop.
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