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Argentinian striker Carlos Tevez has finally apologised for Manchester City following his refusal to come on in the Champions League, and now says he is willing to forgive them as long as he can join in kick abouts with them once more. The former Manchester United forward ended his exile by saying ’seriously, I quite fancy a kick about today.’
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Returning Manchester City forward Carlos Tevez has claimed Roberto Mancini treated him like a really, really rich dog during their spat which saw the Argentine flea to his country and play really difficult golf courses for four months. The former Manchester United striker claimed that for all the mansions, the signing on fees and the luxury surroundings provided, being told to ‘f***ing warm up’ was a step too far.
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Media rumour starters are dying to know who Man City boss Roberto Mancini meant when he said he was targeting a ‘Ni’Inty Points’ in the new year. Enthusiasts have already checked that he doesn’t play for Real Madrid or Arsenal and have now targeted football databases around the world so that somebody can get a picture of him looking really tired at an airport.
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There was shock last night, after it was revealed that Chelsea star Ashley Cole actually managed to retort something brighter than ‘your mum’. Cole was reportedly involved in a tunnel bust up with several Manchester City players after grunting ‘Channel 5, Thursday’, a feat sport scientists are calling ’simply remarkable.’
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Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has questioned how it is possible for two completely different sets of players to cope with the pressure and fatigue of watching a game on Sunday evening before playing a game on Tuesday. The City boss claims the sheer magnitude of a 3 hour journey on a luxury bus full of entertainment and relaxation facilities is enough to tire a man for a good 6 months.
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A book based around the whereabouts of Carlos Tevez is set to be published for the first time this Christmas as retailers look to cash in on the mysterious locations of the Manchester City forward. The publication will feature 20 different crowded venues including street markets in Brazil, a bustling airport in Milan and a casino in Monte Carlo and the reader will be invited to find the camouflaged Carlos in each and every location.’
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‘Ummmm, seriously guys they’re right behind…’ ’shhhhhh, just ignore them’ were the words coming out of Manchester last night after Newcastle United kept up their unbeaten run to go third in the Premier League table. Fans of both Manchester clubs are now debating as to what point they should start actually accepting that Alan Pardew exists and that Demba Ba is quite clearly playing better than Wayne Rooney.
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Carlos Tevez was still adamant he wishes to remain a tool last night, after pulling a disgruntled face and considering a lawsuit against Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini all because some guy with lots of money told him to do so. The Argentinian striker, who was fined four weeks wages by his club for refusing to play football will then continue his rampage of toolness by selling an exclusive to the Daily Mirror before joining a new club and kissing their badge lots.
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Manchester City want away Carlos Tevez has refused to be suspended causing uproar around the football world. City boss Roberto Mancini told the former Manchester United star of his ban in a private meeting to which the Argentinian shook his head angrily before turning to punch Pablo Zabaleta. Tevez later released a press statement saying ‘I didn’t refuse to be suspended. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some training to do; big match Saturday.’
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Roberto Mancini has said the heated dialogue between he and Carlos Tevez last night will forever be between him and the striker. But using expert lip readers on whopping salaries we’ve uncovered what was actually said:
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