The DA: About Us | Subscribe
From The Offside: UEFA Champions League | Premier League | La Liga | Champions League Tickets | Noticias de Futbol
From World Cup Blog: Euro 2012 Qualifying | 2012 Africa Cup of Nations Qualifying | USA Soccer
England manager Fabio Capello is to seek guidance from the Football Association as to whether his captain John Terry is a complete and utter knobhead, it’s been revealed. The Italian coach is anxious to find out whether or not he can select for Terry for upcoming international games and says his attempts to decipher the character of the Chelsea skipper using friend compatibility websites have so far proved insufficient.
Continue reading »
Chelsea captain John Terry fell flat on his face at the weekend, and it was immensely enjoyable according to a public opinion poll. 83% of participants said the fall was the highlight of their footballing weekend whilst 67% went as far as to say it was the most enjoyable thing they’d ever witnessed. The editor of the DA commented ‘that may sound sad, but John Terry falls flat on his face. And it was awesome.’
Continue reading »
England captain John Terry has backed national rugby coach Martin Johnson’s approach to playing rugby at World Cups claiming it’s time the England football team took a punt at it themselves. Terry was speaking ahead of the completely farcical crunch game against Montenegro, which will see England try and pretend that they’re not playing Montenegro C team, and that actually the result is a really big deal.
Continue reading »
New England captain John Terry has vowed to contain his trouble making penis in a specially produced Addidas ‘package muzzle’ which the sports firm claim will reduce blood flow by 72% and laser the image of Margaret Thatcher onto any wearer’s pair of testicles. Replica muzzles are now also available to fans at JJB sports for the retail price of £45.99 and can be purchased in red, blue or orange.
Continue reading »
England manager Fabio Capello has earned a little bit more of his £12million pound contract by managing beyond reason to f*** up a little fluffy band that one player likes to wear around his upper arm during matches. In a move that has set a new definition of the word incompetence, the Italian believes that a gigantic U-turn on his decision to ban John Terry from wearing the captain’s armband is the only way he can show he knows exactly what he’s doing, after last months friendly against Denmark saw a record 2,301 captains in one match, including a 3 minute stint for BBC co-commentator on the night Carlton Palmer.
Continue reading »