Some of England’s youngest stars proved to the world they were ready to step up to the senior, gut wrenching disappointment stage last night after haplessly falling to a 2-1 defeat against the Czech Republic in the dying minutes of their final group stage game. England were sent home after a tournament which promised so much failed to produce a single victory and manager Stuart Pearce believes he could already identify some players who are destined to miss in crucial penalty shootouts down the line.

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Alex McLeish thinks the new commute is a dream. Aside from all the egg throwing.

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The Football League have confirmed that every team within specific pre-arranged football leagues will play every other team twice, both at home and away, in between the months of August and May. Speculation had been mounting that the Football League would do such a thing and the governing body were forced to publish their plans at 9am this morning.

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Former Newcastle United number nine Alan Shearer has said talks about becoming Cardiff City’s new manager have stalled, after the Match of the Day pundit found out that managing a football team did not involve repeating the same five lines week in week out and laughing at Alan Hansen jokes. Shearer was said to be in talks with the Welsh Championship side but was disappointed at interview stage when his top line of ‘that’s the sign of champions, grinding out results’ failed to impress.

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Andrew Allen is deputy editor at sport.co.uk

In January The DA invited me to write a light-hearted column about my life as a football journalist. Granted it was never going to be particularly glamorous, but that was pretty much the point. The aim was to showcase my daily slog while providing low-brow, sarcastic comment about the industry as a whole. Regrettably, within two months my articles had taken a decidedly downbeat tone and I was comparing Sport.co.uk’s plight to that of Leeds United in 2004…unfortunately, like that Elland Road outfit we have indeed hurtled head first into the abyss…And didn’t even get the plus of being able to sell Alan Smith…

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FIFA president Sepp Blatter has turned to Barney the Dinosaur as the man who can save the football governing body from its spiralling corruption. Having already employed a quirky, crime fighting team of a former FBI agent, played by Bruce Willis, who is seeking revenge on those who kidnapped his daughter, a Spanish tenor (for soundtrack purposes) and several members of the original Wombles cast, including Bungo and Wellington, Blatter believes he may have found the perfect solution to combat highly sophisticated money fraud.

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A Lib Dem MP has used parliamentary privilege to name Lawrie Sanchez as the man who scored the winning goal in the 1988 cup final against Liverpool. John Hemming, an attention seeker from Chesterfield East announced the name during an emergency commons question to discuss privacy orders and Hemming claimed he did so to ‘prevent 70million football fans being imprisoned for knowing the piece of trivia already.’

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A football website that you may or may not know has threatened to sue Twitter after users breached a super injunction taken out at the high court and named the URL as the perpetrators of positive comments about Emile Heskey shortly before the 2002 World Cup finals in Japan. The super injunction had been granted to prevent any embarrassment to the online football blog after allegations that the creators had once said Heskey was a ’solid front man’ but Twitter users have been naming and shaming the accused for the past 48 hours.

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Caption relegation

On May 22, 2011, in The Sunday Round up, by editor



The DA breaks down the real meanings in the relegation battlers’ press rantings:

MICK MCCARTHY “Am I enjoying it? I am enjoying it all? What is the alternative – to go and play golf?”
Actual translation: “I really wish I was playing golf.”

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The DA continues with the alternative review of the football year

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