The DA

Head of corruption success stories FIFA will launch an investigation after a team managed by Peter Taylor actually won a game. The former England interim boss, now manager of Bahrain oversaw his team demolish Indonesia 10-0 leaving many left questioning ‘Taylor, was he the same Taylor who managed Leicester? No, he wouldn’t win a game.’

Taylor denies any foul play telling the media ‘honestly, I think Indonesia were just really, really shit. I’ve never been able to outwit anyone delivering my tactics from a cereal box but honestly, I think they were just so sucky it was untrue.’

A spokesman for FIFA claimed ‘we are aware of Peter Taylor’s history, and the chance of him winning an international match is about as likely as not spotting hookers in Michel Platini’s hotel room when you come in unannounced. If gathering evidence is half as fun as Platini makes it, I’m game.’

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