The DA

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has revealed plans to stick hapless defender Laurent Koscielny upfront and tell him to defend AC Milan’s goal. The tactic is a last ditch attempt to score 5 goals past their Champions League opponents and Wenger has advised Koscielny to mark Robin Van Persie.

Speaking to the Arsenal website Wenger claimed ‘we were talking in training and I asked Robin whether he thought it possible for him to score 5 goals. He looked over to Koscielny who was busy chewing his own foot and said ‘if I was up against him, then yes.’ That’s when I got the idea. We’ve told Laurent he’s on loan at Milan and has to keep a clean sheet for them. That should do it.’

Asked whether he felt Arsenal could also shut up shop for the evening the Frenchman replied ‘Ah…I hadn’t thought of that bit. Perhaps we could tell Ibrahimovic that he’s Laurent Koscielny. It all starts to get a tad confusing but we could also tell Tony Adams he’s 24.’

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