The DA

Stand in boss Stuart Pearce has proved he’s the right man to lead England forward by doing his hair. The former Nottingham Forest captain chose a tidy side parting and even wore subtle cufflinks with ‘boss’ written on them, which he purchased from Burton’s Menswear 2 hours before the press conference.

Asked if he was happy to lead England to Euro 2012 Pearce said ‘did I mention I’m the boss? Check out the cufflinks, yeah? And look at my neatly trimmed hair. It’s very nice isn’t it? I even got this new tie. What do you think?’

Pearce continued ‘of course I’m the right man to lead England to the finals, it shouldn’t take very long anyway so let’s get it over and done with and then we can party until we wake up in a Polish cell with a cross dressing prostitute and wonder why there’s a £15,000 pound bar bill stapled to our chests…Seriously, look at the cufflinks.’

Related posts:

• Pearce in race row that doesn’t exist
• Pearce reveals Capello’s ingenious penalty kick secret
• ‘Just the hair Wayne?’ says everybody
• Capello warns Lampard he may need to actually do something good for England
• ‘All you do is attack’ England retort to Fabregas