The DA

New Spurs signing Ryan Nelsen has officially been declared a giant after vertically challenged journalists failed in their bids to get a half decent photograph. Snappers complained of a stiff neck and a short complex after hours of shooting Nelsen holding a Spurs shirt from 9 foot below his head.

Speaking about his experience one reporter said ‘all I could see was the man’s shins, and they couldn’t very well hold up a Tottenham shirt. At one point his head got in the way of the Sun and I thought the world was going to end. It killed all light and heat in the space of a second.’

Nelsen will go straight into the Spurs squad and admitted he was there to win trophies, adding he already had Wembley in his sites. He told the press ’seriously I can see Wembley from here. I’m that tall, it’s quite an easy spot when it’s not cloudy.’

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