The DA

Portsmouth Football Club are completing final credit checks….Oh who are we kidding, Portsmouth are set to announce three new owners said to be fluffy, educational and mischievous. Little is known about the bidders Zippy, George and Bungle but is is believed they made most of their money in real estate alongside a successful trek to the end of a rainbow to locate a pot of gold.

The group’s spokesman Geoffrey Hayes said ‘let’s sing a song shall we, and why don’t you all sing along at home?’

The trio will need to complete a fit and proper test, as stipulated by the Football League but a Portsmouth club spokesperson said ‘if they’re happy with a Portakabin office, taking the bins out and ignoring the smell of cheap hookers on their desk, they pass the test for us. They can start tomorrow.’

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