The DA

Criticising a referee for being a prick is to replace the sport of football FA officials have confirmed. Saturday afternoons will now consist of following a referee around and disagreeing with absolutely everything that he’s doing.

A spokesman for the former Football Association said ‘let’s not kid ourselves; football was always a hassle to organise, sorting out two teams, finding a ball and maintaining the league table. We’ve cut out all the unnecessary nitty gritty that was holding back the sport of referee slating. Now just turn up, call Howard Webb a prick and get home in time for some show with Ant and Dec in it.’

The first slate will kick off on August 8th with Phil Dowd running around a nature reserve awarding handballs for no reason. Tickets are on sale at the FA box office and fans are reminded they can purchase a special season ticket which will include the opportunity to give Mike Reily a wedgie.

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