Arsenal’s back line is held together by a mixture of gaffer tape and double knots boss Arsene Wenger has revealed after the structure very nearly collapsed at Craven Cottage yesterday afternoon. Wenger claims he got assistant Pat Rice to take a look some years ago when he realised there was a gap forming somewhere in the central lining of the back four.
He told the media ‘at first we thought a bit of Polyfiller might do it but experts told us we had something called ‘Squillaci damage’, which was affecting the main bearers. He gave us a quote of £20 million to fix the damage so Pat, being the handyman he is decided to have a go himself with a couple of old shoe laces and some gaffer tape.’
Wenger continued ’sometimes you can’t even notice but as part of the job I was informed Pat had to use some fairly adhesive superglue to keep Djourou from crumbling all together. Whenever there is too much wind in the air we have a real problem. And when it comes to kicking footballs, quite frankly they are all nervous incase of falling to pieces.’