Manchester City fans are set to travel to London on mass this morning, in a bid to find a Manchester United fan they might be able to mock. A large group were searching much of central Manchester last night with no success and gloaters have been tipped off that many supporters at the Old Trafford game yesterday may be disguised in their new Arsenal or Chelsea kits somewhere in Kensington.

One City fan Robert Inne said he merely wanted to find a counterpart and console them in defeat. He said ‘I got the 6 to 1 train down from Manchester Piccadilly and thought maybe I could find somewhere I could buy some fans 6 pints for my 1. I’ve only got 6 hours here before I have to get back to work so it’d be nice to find just 1. Would hate to have to come back another 6 times.

Head of United supporters club Didier ‘true blue’ Zola said ‘Manchester United? No I’m sorry you’re going to have to speak English. I’m a Chelsea fan, a really big one at that. I’ve been coming here since at least 10 o’clock this morning. It’s like a spiritual home really. I love that Juan Mattress. He’s like a new Eric Cantona…if I knew who that was.’

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