All this talk of new Manchester United signing Phil Jones is making us long for the days of Rob it has emerged, after the Blackburn defender completed his switch yesterday afternoon. With his flowing locks of blonde hair and blissfully average right foot, Jones made a 90s household feel as secure and cosy as warm bread baking in the oven and the DA was demanding to know his whereabouts as soon as possible.
A spokesman for the site said ‘all I have to remember Rob is this slightly creased sticker from 1994. That’s not to say I don’t treasure it. He’s really pulled off the sideways smile like an absolute dream but it’d be nice to know that he’s still doing well down a right flank somewhere. Perhaps he’s playing some poker with Stig Inge Bjornebye or something. Wherever he is he should know that Phil is nothing short of an imposter.’
Jones finally completed his transfer yesterday after a bitter wrangling over transfer fees, but Blackburn boss Steve Kean said the funds will all now go to a very good cause. Speaking to Sky Sports News the Ewood Park boss said ‘I’ve just been on the phone to Wayne Rooney and I’ve booked a consultant meeting at the hair transplant place. Next year, I intend to have the flowing locks of Roberto Mancini.’