The DA

The DA continues the Footballing Cities United Tour in Southampton

It must have been like a ’stop the presses!’ moment at National Rail HQ on Saturday when a plucky young jobsworth ran into the control room with a note. The man behind the microphone, set to announce for the 100th time that day that signal failures had disrupted the network, stopped in his tracks and let out a smile. ‘Ladies and Gentleman, this train is delayed, and it’s the f***ing Pope’s fault.’

That’s right; we sat stationery just outside Winchester because obviously the Pope mobile had decided to take a detour along the railway lines. Probably one of the best excuses I had ever heard. But it did allow me to take in a park game of football being played out gloriously right beside our carriage. It was a youth game, with kids running around in shirts that were way too big for them haplessly kicking the ball any direction it would go whilst parents screamed on their encouragement towards their children and abuse towards the referee simultaneously. It’s a regular park scene that has opened up the serious debate about our education system in football. The pitch was obviously too big, the fun well and truly stifled. No sooner had that thought crossed my mind, the smallest player on the pitch hit a 20 yard wonder strike into the top corner and proceeded to pick up the corner flag and play it like a guitar…Perhaps nobody knows what they’re talking about after all.

Today, the tour was taking me to Southampton, and the prospect of Southampton v Colchester at St Mary’s Stadium. Now I have two stand out memories of Southampton. 1) Manager Alan Ball’s flat caps he used to wear during the 90s, that made him look like a lost dog walker whistling instructions for his fluffy companion to return rather than tactically sorting out the backline and 2) Matt Le Tissier’s goal against Newcastle. This moment has been burnt into the retinas of every English fan for years now but if you’ve yet to see it enjoy

Both memories are of Premier League Southampton, at their old loveable ground the Dell. For me, and I imagine this will probably be similar for a lot of neutral fans, memories of Southampton at the new ground are slightly harder to come by. Of course, their fall from the top flight into the realms of League One could well have something to do with it, but speaking to fans throughout the day, I got the sense that even 10 years on they feel their identity has been stolen just a little bit by the stadium move.

It’s a very strange place St Marys. Once I arrived I headed to the ground to get my ticket which instantly raised the problem of me having absolutely no idea where the stadium was. Seeing a fan wearing a replica shirt I followed him, in the hope he wouldn’t be going anywhere else pre game. My eye sight is not the best and Southampton was full of pretty busy roads that could’ve easily halted my progress so I was forced to stay quite close to this man. So close in fact that I swear at points he quickened his step and even stopped to tie up his shoelace, which forced me to spend an awkward minute of so also tying my shoelace (I panicked and couldn’t think of anything else to do!) Fortunately, not long after that I spotted a sign and carried on the walk solo.

Back to my point of St Mary’s being a bit odd though, and, well St Mary’s is a bit odd really. I have never been to a stadium that is surrounded by a quarry, a gas plant and a railway track before and began to wonder whether every series of TV drama 24 had been filmed quite literally at this very location. It’s not the ideal place for a depressed fan to be after a 4-0 home defeat to Rochdale say…There’s just far too many options to put yourself out of your misery. The roads beside the ground also look a bit like a scene from 28 Days Later. Every shop is boarded up (except hairdressers, they seem to have survived somehow) and most of the buildings look like they are still standing through sheer stubbornness. I even heard one conversation behind me which went: ‘Dave, what are you doing here?’
‘The same reason why you’re here, I’m broke.’

Fearing the worst a little bit I went for an explore, already planning the next ‘Oxford United write-up’ only to stumble upon one of the coolest high streets I’ve ever seen. The comparison between two roads in such close proximately is somewhat staggering but I’ve never seen a city centre so lively on a Saturday afternoon. The most fantastic market place, with traders shouting out their deals, smoke rising from the enticingly good smelling food being cooked on site and the general hustle and bustle of shoppers was amazing. An impressive mall called West Quays accompanied the market stalls and the two complimented each other really well. Of course, the markets for all I know could’ve been there for years before the mall opening but it felt a bit like locals refusing to be beaten by this huge, expensive complex and instead using it to their advantage and setting up shop right in front of it to say ‘f*** you mall.’

Spirited by this turn of events, and the phenomenal Chicken Chow Mein I’d sampled from a market stall I headed back to a pub called the King Alfred Arms to have a pre match pint and meet up with a guy called Will, who had recently set up a new Southampton fanzine. As he was yet to arrive I began talking to some Saints fans at the bar who were quick to chat about the Dell days and reminisce about the Premier League years. The way they spoke, it felt like the last 10 years hadn’t happened, and soon we’d all take a merry stroll down to the old Dell and watch Matt Le Tissier take on Newcastle all by himself. I can count on one hand the number of times they spoke about the current team. One barely even discussed football at all and instead kept telling me about his high blood pressure. An old acquaintance walked past who asked ‘we still on for Thursday?’ to which the fan responded ‘yeah I’ve got a blood pressure test at 5 but then steak night and Wetherspoons yeah?’ I think I can already predict the results of the test…

Gutted I hadn’t had a late invite to steak night I went outside the pub to see Will busy selling his new fanzine on the street (which by the way I thoroughly recommend – go here). Will, like many fans inside the King Alfred, was a bit mystified by current goings on at the club. Southampton recently sacked their manager Alan Pardew a day after a 4-0 win, when seemingly no fan wanted him to leave. As yet, no explanation has been given and Will shared some of the many rumours doing the rounds, including one suggesting Pardew was caught with his trousers down next to a player’s wife. All scandalous rumours best discussed in the News of the World but the very fact that they’re surfacing indicates the utter confusion around the ground.

Top bloke Will. See his fanzine site here

There are a lot of things that don’t really make sense about Southampton. This tradition goes back many, many years. I seem to remember pundits in the early days of the Premier League constantly baffled that Southampton kept on surviving year after year. They won the FA cup in 1976, which, to put a modern perspective on things, would be a bit like Southampton winning the FA cup. And most importantly let’s not forget, they play their football games by what can only be described as a suicide’s haven. But yet, it was all so enjoyable. Once again, the fans were tremendous and despite the ridiculously high ticket prices still flocked to the ground for an attendance of 18,000.

It must have been somewhat disappointing for them that their team forgot what they’d turned up to do on this crazy thing called a football pitch. The goal posts were not anxious until the 60th minute (I kid you not, 60 minutes of defenders hoofing it into the air, and the other set of defenders hoofing right back at them) but something, somewhere seemed to spur the home side into a rousing few minutes. Perhaps the Samaritans called and warned of an imminent blood bath, but whatever it was Southampton gave it a damn good go. Lee Barnard upfront looked particularly spirited but a solid display from Colchester ‘keeper Mark Cousins kept them at bay.

So another 0-0 for me yet, another great day full of what football is all about. I can’t help but think it’s just the players that aren’t holding up their end of the bargain at most of the grounds I’ve visited. The highlight for me was watching a fan carefully observe a sign which read ‘be careful of flying footballs’ only to take one right in the chin as he read the advice. But then I’m childish like that. Another great footballing venue though, and I really can only hope the next 22 are all as enjoyable. No pressure Derby.

Related posts:

• All fun to be banned from football league stadiums
• Oxford v Morecambe, week 4 – Oxford
• Crystal Palace v Leicester, week 1 – London
• Bristol Rovers v Brentford, Week 5 – Bristol
• Exeter v Bristol Rovers, week 2 – Exeter