The DA

Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp secured the signing of Real Madrid midfielder Rafael Van der Vaart last night at a job lot price of £8million with the intention of selling him on EBay for at least £20million next summer. The former West Ham boss also did a deal which saw a Croatian goalkeeper and 6,000 DAB digital radios shipped to London on the final day of the transfer window.

Redknapp denied allegations he was a wheeler-dealer despite knocking £10 million off of Van der Vaart’s price tag, whilst including some fresh fruit and vegetables as part of the deal. He said ‘Na mate, I ain’t no dodgy dealer, clean as a whistle me. Now here you are love, 4 DVDs for the price of 3, work on almost any DVD player. Titanic’s a bit scratched, I’ll be honest darling but hey, at least you’re not on the bloody thing! Am I right? Wheyyyyy!’

Sir Alex Ferguson has now also been quick to claim he’s not in fact a moaning, BBC hating, Scottish wind up merchant whilst Iain Dowie has stated that he is not a complete and utter failure as a manager, and has actually won the Premier League at least 3 times, if you check the records. Dutch international Van Der Vaart is expected to settle quickly at Harry’s market stall, being placed directly in between some novelty door mats and a box of blenders which fell off the back of a Debenhams lorry.

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