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The DA continues the Footballing Cities United Tour in Exeter
This week’s trip started off rather brightly, it must be said, when the powers that be at National Rail HQ decided it’d be cheaper for me to buy a first class ticket than rock up with one of those standard, expensive tickets. Say what you like about British railways but one thing they’ll never be is predictable and something they’ll always be is entertaining. I remember a few years back they were planning to charge people for carry on luggage. One rather agitated commuter chipped up to suggest that that would be the equivalent of charging for his regular seat twice, as he invariably ended up sitting on his baggage anyway. Their pricing system is quite obviously structured by some trained monkeys and a tombola machine.
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Sky Sports News finally confirmed this morning that even two presenters repeating the same thing every 15 minutes on a continuous loop in a shabby London studio with some fairly unimpressive graphics still costs more money than anyone is willing to spend on it. The news comes after the channel switched over exclusively to Sky packages leaving many Freeview viewers wondering what the hell they were going to watch now…you bunch of money grabbing channel stealers.
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The DA rounds up the weekend’s action by checking up on some the star’s Facebook statuses:
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I’m Becky Taylor, I own 432 pairs of shoes, I’ve watched the Sex and the City box set 27 times and counting, and I think Gok Wan is really awesome. I’m determined to disprove a stereotype so here are my knowledgeable Premier cup predictions for this weekend (I’m the living the dream SJP!)
Stoke City striker Dave Kitson has claimed that I Pods are ruining dressing room atmosphere after several teammates told the forward not to ‘disturb Rick in full flow’ when trying to start conversation. Kitson believes that several players aren’t even listening to anything at all, and merely put headphones to their ears to stop him talking and the former Reading star feels the camaraderie and spirit is being lost from the game.
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Blackburn have announced radical new plans to rebrand its image of a simmering, post apocalyptic market town to become one of the fashion centres of Europe. Indian businessman Ahsan Ali Syed, who looks set to take over the reins at Blackburn Rovers football club, has promised to bring David Beckham to Ewood park and believes the town centre will benefit hugely from the Beckham brand.
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The team name Young Boys should not be anywhere near as funny as it is leading dullards said last night after commentators were left desperately trying not to walk into dodgy sentences set up by their colleagues. Spurs trailed Young Boys until half time but scored a couple of crucial away goals to take back to White Hart Lane. Spurs boss Harry Redknapp said he can’t wait to have a go at Young Boys on the return leg whilst Sky Pundit Andy Gray said ‘that was a great game, I actually quite enjoyed watching Young Boys play’, which resulted in him being arrested almost immediately.
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Manchester United got the nation clinging onto their seats and expecting a roller coaster ride last night after confirming that the most ‘open league ever’ will be between just Manchester United and Chelsea. In a twist from your average football season the two clubs have established themselves as the two front runners this season after picking up two training game victories against West Brom and Newcastle United on the opening day.
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The Premier League has announced that their World record attempt to provide the funniest league table of all time has been successful after an official Guinness World record committee passed out due to lengthy comic exposure of the current Premier League standings. Ten officials collapsed under sheer weight of laughter when it was confirmed that Blackpool were currently sitting in a Champions League spot.
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Millionaire Steve Coppell has confessed he spends his evenings dressed in a cape fighting crime after the mild mannered manager quit just months into his tenure at Bristol City. The former Manchester United midfielder walked out on his managerial role just two games into the season, reminiscent of his brief spell at Manchester City in 1996. Robin has been put in temporary charge for Bristol City’s weekend clash against Doncaster whilst Coppell has said his priority is now watching over Gotham city and throwing extravagant parties at his mansion.
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