The Diary of a Huggable Cad

On June 17, 2010, in World Cup, by editor

It’s not often you stumble upon something so brilliant that 99.9% of the population will claim it’s completely made up (allegations that would of course, stand up in court). So when the DA came across this not necessarily, in some forms, maybe yes, maybe no, who knows, perhaps, not quite, definitely is, fictional diary of former England head coach Sven Goran Eriksson we were absolutely delighted. Sit back DA fans, and enjoy the ramblings of a very huggable cad…

Wednesday 16th June, 2010

Dear diary,

Well, what week it has been for me’s truly. Once again I shut up those who say my teams have the potentials for great flowing football by successfully training new squad of players, the Super Elephants, to (as the Ingerlish say) “Parks the buses”. Who would think two such attacking teams as slimy Portuguese and mighty Ivory Coast could play out kind of rubbish 0-0 draw I saw during my times at Nottingham’s County. I AM TACTICAL GENIUS!

Where to begin…well, first I manage to keep glorious Super Elephant’s Captain Mr. Drogba off pitch for nearly all game, even though he only suffer strained wrist in “accident” (if ask me, he needs to give up that habit, or will go blind). Even when he emerge, he move like Emile Heskey after Nandos e.g. sloth. Same rule goes for non-adventurous full backs – I picked the ones who reminded me most of Ingerland legendary defence player, Chris Powell. Slow, clumsy and “dull as dishwater”. Only player who allowed to attack is Lille player Gervinho. I haven taken him under wings and allowed him to run as much as he likes for next few games. I feel sorry for him, as his hair is silly – centre-parting with Alicia band! WTF?

Sure, we had a few “scaredy” moments, like when well groomed transsexual Mr. Ronaldo knocked ball onto bar from 24.3 metres. But apart from that, Toure brothers control game like bull seamen controls long, flowing locks belonging to me – slick! Having watch last night game between Brazil and strange cult named DPRK, feel much confidence for Super Elephant’s progression, as long as opposition score enough own goals (not looking forward to having to score goals ourselves – its really tricky). As for Cult Peoples of Korean Republic, they seem to have based stubborn defensive performance on mighty Ivory Coast. Will consider patent in morning…

Outside of Ivory Coast matters, had pleasure to meet lovely Dutch ladies after game between Netherlands and Denmark. Many attractive lovelies in group and nice orange mini-skirts too; gave me horn, and not talking about vuvuzelas…(ha, ha, ha, must tell this one to Tord!). Offered many free Bavarian brand beers, but when asked if had tickets for Ivory Coast vs. Brazil, had to say “No” as had sold complmentary tickets on for for nice profit to man with only one leg. They shrugged and one Dutch lady said “Oh well, we’ll try Robbie”. Very strange! Took one girly home though, so night success after all.

She still here now so must stop writing (getting funny look). Hope she leaves soon, as not slept in two days. Getting too old for this. Bavaria makes me sleepy time…

End of entry…

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