The DA

England is now officially praying that the famous surgeon, who performed minor miracles on the Six Million Dollar man, allowing him to make that weird springy noise every time he jumped, will be able to cure David Beckham in time to make the World Cup squad this summer. Beckham is flying to Finland today to seek advice which is likely to start with ‘gentleman, we can rebuild him… You’ve got health insurance right?’

Beckham’s injury is a devastating blow to anyone who actually enjoys supporting the good guy and many are calling on FIFA to postpone the World Cup until the Achilles mends. Chief of the English supporters club Johnny England said ‘I’m not sure I want John Terry to lift the World Cup really, or herpes ridden Ashley Cole for that matter. My sole purpose for cheering our boys on this summer is now Peter Crouch. If anyone touches him I swear to God I’ll take my hammer to them.’

Beckham’s surgery will take place live on Channel 5 replacing the scheduled Europa league second leg clash between Lille and Liverpool. A Channel 5 spokesmen defended the decision saying ‘this has got a whole lot more to do with football than that had.’

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