The DA

The Red Knights have the Glazer family quaking in their boots after it was revealed the group are seeking actual advice about how to take over a football club. Despite the fact that nearly all of the group in some shape or form own a f***ing bank, the caped crusaders still believe asking some other bank about money and s**t will prove they’re ‘dead serious.’

A spokesmen said ‘our battle plan was previously all wrong. We’d scrolled down the idea of charging their draw bridge with former players and safety stewards before launching flaming arrows at their families but thankfully Nomura bank have stepped in and told us that’s probably not the best way to go about things.’

‘Our plan is to rescue this damsel in distress ‘debt’ from the watch tower and then sign Franck Ribery using £200 million of the King’s finest currency.’ The spokesmen added ‘isn’t it totally post modern that we’re called the red knights and yet our battle colours are green and gold? How kick ass right?!!’

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