The DA

A group of city financiers, who enjoy playing World of Warcraft and painting models of little goblins whilst stealing millions and millions of pounds out of people’s bank accounts are set to launch an aggressive takeover bid of Manchester United by wearing red capes and using millions and millions of pounds they stole from people’s bank accounts.

The bunch of t****rs, who call themselves ‘the Red Knights’ held their first meeting last night, in the quiet confides of their parents basement drinking shots of lemonade from a silver cup and demanding no one speak without possession of the sacred stone.

City analysts are in agreement that the group of banking executives are trying to become as unpopular as legally possible. ‘1) They’re bankers. 2) They support Manchester United. 3) They have referred to themselves as the red knights – indicating that they, themselves, see their group as the saviours of mankind. One can only assume the next step is to steal some money from an orphanage and announce publicly that they’re backing Gordon Brown at the next election.’

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