Phil ‘the pharmicist’ Dowd has strong connections with the Serbian mafia foreign secretary David Miliband has revealed. M16 were forced to admit they’d been tracking the referee for some time after Dowd was seen officiating yesterday’s Carling Cup Final with a red sniper dot aimed at his forehead and a missing index finger on his right hand.
‘We’re very familiar with Mr Dowd’s links to the Serbian underworld’ said an M16 statement. ‘He was largely behind the infamous 1998 cross border arms trafficking operation to Bosnia and notorious for giving THAT last minute penalty in the East v West gang playoff. Since then he’s been forced to pay back The Serbians with iffy refereeing decisions or face waking up in bed with Wayne Rooney.’
Nemanja Vidic, who took advantage of Dowd’s predicament yesterday by chopping down Gabriel Agbonlahor as last defender and staying on the pitch said ‘how was that a sending off? There was no blood or anything. You want me to show you a sending off? I make one call and you’ll see a real sending off. And let me tell you something, Billy the Butcher won’t be appealing.’
brilliant article … hahaha