The DA

The DA’s Dan Green continues his journey of discovery, mystery and away trips to Barnsley.

Well, that’s it ladies and gentlemen – another January transfer window closes with all the drama of a post-mortem. On a day when Robbie Keane moving clubs was somehow a ‘surprise’ (the guys had more clubs than Tiger Woods…and nearly as many women), Newcastle predictably failed in their attempt to make a true ‘marquee’ signing in the form of wonder-kid Victor Moses. The glitz and glamour of Tyneside was clearly not enough to tempt the young Nigerian born winger/forward, who had attracted the eye of some of Europe’s biggest teams including Barcelona, Real Madrid, Arsenal Manchester City and…Wigan Athletic. Moses had clearly mixed up his Roberto’s, perhaps mistaking Wigan boss Martinez for his higher profile namesake Mancini. Add to that equation an industrial vat of chloroform and some duck tape and you’ve got yourself a transfer…

However, the disappointment of missing out on the raw, youthful talent of Moses in no way perturbed Magpie manager Chris Hughton’s desire to bring in new players to reinvigorate his squad (he’s not the type of manager to mope around, crying into his Weetos).

Below is a quick summary of the Toon Army’s transfer window activity;

IN

Wayne Routledge from QPR – Undisclosed fee
Mike Williamson from Portsmouth – Undisclosed fee
Fitz Hall from QPR – Loan
Patrick van Aanholt from Chelsea – Loan
Leon Best from Coventry – Undisclosed fee

OUT

Geremi to Ankaragücü – undisclosed Fee

Now, having examined closely said transfers/loan-acquisitions, I find myself preoccupied with a few queries. Firstly, when did this whole ‘undisclosed fee’ business come into play? Have the days of clubs proudly announcing how much over the odds they have just paid for their new signings really come to an end? How else will the average male be able to calculate how many luxury houses/sports cars/caviar sandwiches he can buy for the price of one Darren Bent?

Secondly, why is Chris Hughton spending these ‘undisclosed’ transfer fees on players with little or no Premiership experience (and also with little domestic baggage – Where are all the love-rats and gambling addicts)? I understand that promotion at this stage in the season is by no means certain and that the squad needs to be built up cautiously, but c’mon! Leon Best? The ex-Coventry striker has the scoring record of a centre-back, having failed to ever score more than 10 goals in a season. It’s also worrying that Newcastle have seemingly snapped up players deemed surplus to requirements by lower-placed Championship teams like Coventry and QPR. Are these players really going to help keep us from doing the Baggie ‘Boing’ for the next decade? I remain unconvinced (with a slight touch of nauseating worry)…

Leon vanquishes the shame of his poor scoring record by adopting a super-hero alias – ‘Spoonerman’

Unfortunately, not even Wayne Rutledge’s fairly impressive debut performance was enough to see off a steadfast Leicester City on Saturday. Fortunately, Forest’s preverbal (and literal) ‘kick up the a***’ at the hands of Derby County allowed the result to go practically unpunished. However, with West Brom re-finding some form in last night’s 3-2 victory over Blackpool (thanks to a certain Mr. Dorrans), Newcastle United can ill-afford many more dropped points. The Toon Army play Cardiff on Friday, having already beaten the ‘Blue Birds’ away earlier in the season, but with high scoring strikers Michael Chopra and Peter Whittingham on form, Cardiff will undoubtedly pose a threat. Here’s hoping they’re both released and signed up by Portsmouth before the fixture begins (or at the latest, half-time)…

Want to have your say on your club’s latest transfer clangers, or any other developments in the wonderful world of football? Send in your comments to editor@theda.co.uk or Tweet on http://twitter.com/matchoftheda. The best remarks will be posted live on www.theda.co.uk.

Related posts:

• Newcastle Frown Tale
• The Newcastle Frown Tale
• Newcastle Frown Tale
• Newcastle Frown Tale
• Newcastle Frown Tale