The DA

Crystal Palace have put an advertisement in the Financial Times seeking a prospective buyer, whilst Portsmouth football club have taken out a £20 ad in Autotrader, running for two weeks on both website and magazine. Both clubs face a HMRC winding up order today and are likely to plea ‘you want free tickets?’ in a hearing later this afternoon.

The Palace ad highlights the clubs top of the range facilities, their 105 year history and the fact they are still progressing in the FA cup. Portsmouth’s section in Autotrader reads ‘5 door football club with a bit of rust to the body and a sticky gear box which jams in second. The Michael Brown musk should be easy to clear with professional cleaning but for the love of god please don’t touch the tax disc. It’s made out of a McVitites digestive biscuit.’

Southend are also in the queue to be wound down today but as yet, haven’t advertised the club in national print. A Southend spokesmen said ‘Have you been to Roots Hall. If we could lift it, we’d just take it to the nearest lake and have done with it. We couldn’t pay people to take it!’

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