The FA have been found alive and well cowering under Ian Watmore’s desk and calling for their mummy it has been revealed. Watmore claimed they’d been forced to take cover when Lord Triesman had been struck by a big decision that ‘he couldn’t possibly make’ and explained how they’d been living off edible, chocolate underpants left by former England manager Sven Goran Eriksson.
Lord Triesman said ’someone asked me if John Terry should remain England captain and all of a sudden my crotch felt very wet. I turned to Ian for help but all I could see was a puff of smoke and an Ian shaped hole in the wall. That’s when I knew I was in trouble.’
The pair have since announced they are abdicating to Russia and have handed control over to England manager Fabio Capello. Watmore said ‘everything is entirely up to him now. The Terry decision, the cleaning, everything. We haven’t even had any running water here for over a year because we didn’t want to phone the utility company and make a scene. I hope Mr Capello fixes that too.
