Capello to ask 'you didn't sleep with my wife did you?'

England manager Fabio Capello will ask for a full, thorough description of John Terry's sexual relations with model Vanessa Perroncel insisting the England captain must 'spare no raunchy detail, no experimental position' before making his decision on Terry's England future.

The Italian will also hold private meetings with Wayne Bridge and his assistant Franco Baldini believes this will involve Capello 'asking Bridge to understand that John Terry is better and therefore wondering whether he'd mind spending his summer holidays in Cornwall or something?'

Former England manager Sven Goran Eriksson believes too much has been made of the affair. 'When I was in charge not only was I with the player's wives, I also tried to accommodate their house maids and cousins as well, and we'd never have a problem beating Algeria.'

Remember to join our Facebook group where this summer we'll be running all kinds of World Cup competitions. Plus, every time we reach another 100 members we'll give away a free DA t-shirt