Newcastle Frown Tale

On November 12, 2009, in The Newcastle United chronicles, by admin

The DA’s Dan Green continues his journey of discovery, mystery and away trips to Barnsley.

Welcome to the new look Frown Tale Blog! Of course, when I say ‘new look’, I mean the same old s*** with someone else’s brand shamelessly plastered all over it. Don’t worry people, Ashley hasn’t got to me yet – this blog is, and will forever remain a Sports Direct free-zone (I’m more of a JJB man myself). As you’ve probably guessed, the much maligned Newcastle owner’s decision to rename St James’ Park is still one of the most widely discussed topics in football at this point in time. It seems Mr. Ashley has become somewhat of an inspirational figure for other club chairmen intent on destroying any relationship they may have with club supporters whilst making a quick ‘buck’ in the process. Representatives from Tottenham, Chelsea and Liverpool have all shown an interest in the possible sale of naming rights for new/existing stadia. Expect to see matches played out at Heinz Hart Lane, Selfridge Bridge and JP MorgAnfield in the very near future!

And its J.P. Morgan, J.P. Morgan PLC..They’re the greatest finanacial sevices provider, the world has ever seen!!!

Usually when times are tough (like NOW!) a football supporter can usually find solace within a simulated footballing world – i.e. computer games, be in Pro Evo, FIFA or other. However, as a Newcastle fan it seems that not even a virtual existence can shelter me from my club’s woes. For example, I found myself very excited by the release of the new Football Manager game, FM10, in October. I thought to myself, ‘Managing Newcastle this year will be a doddle. We have a better squad than the rest of the Championship so promotion should be simple.’ Well, it would have been, were it not for the fact that your are given no transfer fund, a huge wage bill to decrease and, within my first month as manager, the prospect of a possible takeover bid and Alan Shearer waltzing straight into my job, thus rendering me unemployed. I thought computer games were supposed to be fun? Another example – I started a career in FIFA 10 playing for Newcastle, expecting to win most games by 5 or 6 goals and head straight back to the warm glow of the top flight…not quite. I was plagued by injury, the team finished 12th, and I was extremely lucky to be given an exit route by a very kind Arsene Wenger. The Emirates is a good place to be at this time, both in and outside of reality.

A seasoned FM pro at work.

Having said that, the REAL Newcastle United are still currently top of the ACTUAL league thanks to a solid win against now manager-less Peterborough. Guiding the team to two straight promotions and into The Championship was obviously not enough for the club’s board and the blame fell squarely on the head of Darren Ferguson (mutual consent? I’m not so sure). Goals from Gutierrez (sadly minus the Spiderman mask), Carroll and Simpson were enough to sink The Posh and seal Ferguson’s fate. Jonas apparently rejected donning his iconic mask for the first time in a Newcastle shirt due to media speculation over his future, the Argentine international having been linked with a January move to a number of Italian clubs. Still, I’d like to see him score a few more goals from midfield before I’m convinced of his loyalty to the team, as in some games he looks about as interested in playing for Newcastle as Luke Young is for England.

In other news, Andy Carroll replaced his custom triple-somersault with pike-twist finish celebration with a more traditional jump and punch into the air after his goal on Saturday. Controversial I know, but Andy later told reporters that such a feat would have ‘destroyed’ the stadium, potentially killing thousands. Newcastle now have to wait until Monday to play Preston North End, hoping that West Brom and the host of teams on 27 points (oh, and 10th place Middlesbrough) slip up on Saturday and Sunday. I hope no-one upsets Jonas anymore this week…

Jonas Gutierrez – Inconsistnent yet skillful winger and Fathers4Justice sympathiser.

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