Big fight fans were celebrating this morning after the ’summer showdown’ bout between South African police officials and English drunken hooligans was finally confirmed. The man in charge of policing next years event laid down the challenge by pulling the face of Clint Eastwood and mumbling aggressively ‘they will be put in a place where they will have every regret.’
He added ‘you know that scene in Die Hard 4, where everything is totally f***** up? Yeah next summer will make that look like the sequel to Four Weddings and a Funeral.’
Lead hooligan Dave Nutter responded by saying ‘he best hope that he’s got enough pepper spray and water canons to kill a small army. It’s been impossible picking our 23 man squad. Everyone’s ready and we’ve not even begun pint training yet!’
Those wishing to enjoy next summer’s World Cup have been asked kindly to ‘wait another four years’ and in a separate warning, been urged to ‘mute ITV commentary where possible.’
