England’s 2018 bid team have rejected claims that they’re a bunch of a*** kissing sleaze bags after buying the wives of top FIFA executives handbags with the hope they’d say ‘honey, I want to go buy lots of nice things in London in 2018.’

A spokesmen for the group said ‘we strongly refute allegations that we are trying to bribe the decision makers and would very much like to know if this shiny new plasma screen in my hand will stop you writing such preposterous things?’

Meanwhile, the 50 strong England Ambassador sqaud for the bid has been announced with some surprise recalls for David Seaman, Peter Beardsley and Brian Deane. Michael Owen was forced to pull out injured so Gary Lineker has agreed to travel. Rumours are circulating that Fabio Capello is so impressed with the line up that he may just use the same list for next year’s World Cup and take a couple of months off to enjoy his millions and millions of pounds.

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