The DA

The DA’s global reporter Rich Wilcock, searches the world for football gossip and food scraps.

Thought of the day – English football is quite tame really (see below)

We start with a story about the David Beckham hating Landon ‘wishes he was Tom Cruise’s best friend’ Donovan. The Mexican F.A have decided not to humour a complaint about Donovan after it emerged he played against Mexico whilst he had Swine Flu.

Nestor De La Carre, the President of the Mexican F.A said “It’s unbelievable really. It’s bad enough outplaying us with a cold but celebrating a goal by downing a Lemsip in front of our fans, that’s really disrespectful in my book. De La Carre reacted angrily to claims put forward by an American journalist that ‘you started it’.

Over in Bolivia, it all went Bruce Lee when an inconspicuous match between Blooming and Oriente Petrolero saw three red cards and two mass brawls. Leandro Medina was the first recipient of the red card after a vicious elbow on Sergio Jauregui. However Jauregui, not fully satisfied with the punishment, decided to dish out his own retribution by karate kicking Medina in the face (a possible way to cut diving out of the game perhaps?)
Jauregui’s impressive but sadly mis-timed use of martial arts sparked a huge brawl which at last count, is currently entering round 249 with Medina currently two rounds ahead on points. We’ll keep you posted.

And finally, Mourinho has managed to annoy the Islamic World by hinting that Sulley Muntari’s lacklustre performances are because he is observing Ramadan.
Mourinho said “It’s not that I’m selfish, but we’ve got a crucial friendly against Florentina, we can’t have players prioritizing their religion, now bow down and kiss my feet.”

Former Premier League star Matthew Le Tissier commented ‘I can’t imagine not eating before a game. I used to feed up on one of everything from the MacDonald’s lunch time menu, just for good luck really.

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