Physicists studying the infamous Roberto Carlos freekick from 1997 have proven that they really have very little else to do and should probably become bankers or something. A team of experts opted against watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy on the lab’s projector screen for the eighth time to instead concentrate on a goal that hasn’t been mentioned for some time that no one ever really questioned anyway leaving many asking ‘is this seriously our biggest problem right now?’
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The DA’s Richard Cutcher brings you some of the funniest football video clips doing the rounds this week:
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The FA have escaped having to finally make an actual judgement call after stealing FIFA’s governing rulebook and scribbling in some s*** about under 11 football. The heads of English football were fast approaching a time when they’d be asked whether it’d be OK for Englishman Mikel Arteta Amatriain (born Channel lslands, San Sebastián, Gipuzkoa, Spain) to represent the national side and reports suggested so much panic had been caused at FA headquarters that a chartered flight to Cuba had been prepared for the very top executives.
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Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp secured the signing of Real Madrid midfielder Rafael Van der Vaart last night at a job lot price of £8million with the intention of selling him on EBay for at least £20million next summer. The former West Ham boss also did a deal which saw a Croatian goalkeeper and 6,000 DAB digital radios shipped to London on the final day of the transfer window.
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The DA continues the Footballing Cities United Tour in Plymouth
For the second Saturday in a row I was waking up early with the prospect of heading down to the West Country. That meant for the second Saturday in a row I was hurling my alarm clock at the wall at stupid O clock in the morning beginning to understand why supporting a local team is such an appealing proposition for the weekend lie in fan. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to my trip to Plymouth either. Having watched National Rail effortlessly cock up at every stage last week I couldn’t help but think an extra hour and a half onto the journey time couldn’t be a good thing and began to consider taking rations to last me a good two weeks just incase.
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The city of Manchester is at a standstill this morning as players from all over the world arrive at the Eastlands stadiums to have their medicals and leave with wheelbarrows full of money, an AA traffic report is warning. With the transfer window set to close this evening City manager Roberto Mancini said he is looking to add a few more names to the squad as ‘backup for the reserve’s, reserve team.’
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European Ryder Cup captain Colin Montgomerie has used a wildcard slot to call up Emile Heskey for the Celtic Manor tournament due to begin in October. Heskey, who has no handicap, experience or golf clubs is seen by some as a big gamble but Montgomerie is adamant that Hesky can do a job for the Europeans even if he’s not quite match fit, or in fact, any good at golf at all.
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The DA rounds up the weekend’s action by checking up on some the star’s Facebook statuses:
Continue reading » Fabio Capello deny thingsa lost in transatlantic. It’a like Bill Murray in Japan witha ze the sexy time no?…
I’m Becky Taylor, I own 432 pairs of shoes, I’ve watched the Sex and the City box set 27 times and counting, and sometimes I think Jeremy Kyle can be really poignant. I’m determined to disprove a stereotype so here are my knowledgeable Premier cup predictions for this weekend (I’m the living the dream SJP!)
(Last week I got two correct match results…Off to a flier then!)
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Heavy criticism of this season’s ‘confusing’ Champions League draw has led to UEFA making an early announcement on next year’s Champions League draw director. Sylvester Stallone will replace Frenchmen Didier Getite who entitled yesterday’s ‘masterpiece’ Un Gâchis (English translation – a f***ing mess). UEFA president Michel Platini said Stallone would bring a ’sense of clarity to proceedings.’
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